Revisionist History: Did Dallas Singer Punch An Invert In Front Of An 76000 tonne Bulk Carrier?
By Dan Dobbin.
I was told once that ageing is going about your daily business until one day you look in the mirror and discover a face that isn’t yours.
I’m starting to get it.
My stubble is 33 1/3 % grey. My hairline and density on the decline. I make noises getting out of chairs or when picking things up off the ground. I remember when a photograph represented definitive proof.
When British doctor Robert Wilson snapped that famous image in April 1934 of the Loch Ness monster, the world was forced to conceed that a singular giant prehistoric creature really had survived for untold millennia alone in a freezing lake at the top of the world because he had definitive photographic proof.
Now in the world of photoshop and face tuning technology I can’t go a day without wondering if Khloe Kardashian is hot or not based on my preconceived Western notions of beauty.
While photoshop was launched in 1990 and digital photography had existed in a clunky way since the early 1950’s, it wasn’t until the mid 2000’s that they began to mash together in a way that began to be noticed in the boogieverse.
Whispers of photogs digitally altering the height of airs by repositioning riders higher above the lip than reality and physics allowed, grey clouds disappeared to create perfect blue skys, washed out shots brought to life with a few macbook tweeks.
Perhaps the grand daddy of these early noughties efforts is the below image of Anna Bays second most famous person and third best Infoamed writer Dallas Singer that still habitually crops up on social media posts, 13 years after it was first foisted onto an unsuspecting public.
The Pasha Bulker was a 76,000-tonne bulk carrier that was rammed ashore and wedge between a reef and inshore sand bank at Nobby’s beach, Newcastle, Australia in the midst of one of the biggest east coast lows to hit the Australian coastline in many years on June 8th, 2007.
22 Filipino and Korean crewman had to be winched off the deck the next day in a heroic effort by the Westpac helicopter crew.
Rescue team members were blasted with huge volts of static electricity charge that had built up while swinging in the wind before earthing themselves everytime they touched down on the ships metal deck.
It eventually took three attempts to refloat the ship, which stayed on the beach for nearly four weeks.
In that time sand build up, combined with the refraction of wave energy off the ships vast broadside caused a fairly tasty looking left wedge to form.
However, given that the entire area was blanketed in an air, land and sea exclusion zone carrying hefty fines and imprisonment provisions, the idea of anyone surfing anywhere even remotely close to the Pasha Bulker was an almost impossibility.
We say almost impossible because a local surf shop owner was able to be towed into a few waves in front of it and scored the cover of Waves surfing magazine, along with some mainstream media coverage, for his efforts.
His father was the head clubby at Nobby’s Surf Life Saving club and thus a blind eye was turned.
As for our own heroes alleged wave of fame, Dallas had this to say “The clubbys had closed the whole area off a day earlier. I was going to surf it one morning from memory but was told to leave”.
Still if you’d managed to sneak past a miriade of security, water patrols and police services and perform an act that could cost you a shit tonne of cash and potential prison time, would you admit to it?