By Thunder Lees.
Infoamed has received critical CoronaVirus advice from the World Health Organisation (WHO) on the required self-isolation procedures for bodyboarders as the pandemic escalates.
It’s advised that social distancing and non-essential travel precautions should be implemented immediately as a precautionary measure to flatten the curve of the diseases spread.
A WHO representative said that the easiest way to execute these critical measures was to adhere to some common surf lores already in place.
“Look, it’s pretty fucking simple, no blow-ins at localised breaks and if you happen to rock up somewhere where there’s already a crew on it, don’t unload the mini-bus,” said the boffin.
“It’s better to just fuck-off down the beach or stay south of the Stoctckon bridge I reckon.”
Other WHO advice includes steering clear of known areas of poor hygiene like the cesspool that is the Central Coast of NSW.
“The only good thing you’re gonna catch on the Cenny Coast is the train from Woy Woy out of the cunt,” said the WHO representative.
Possible ways to reduce anxiety during a flat spell lockdown have also been outlined by the WHO authorities.
“If you’re feeling restless and can’t relax, throw on any boog movie edited by Todd Barnes and you’ll be sound asleep in minutes,” said the WHO rep.
“It’s like taking a prozac and val cocktail.”